Transgender Day of Remembrance (today)

[kitkat]

Transgender Day of Remembrance: November 20

Last year, I heard about Transgender Day of Remembrance for the first time.

The title floored me. I’m used to "Awareness" days, not "Remembrance" days--how about you?

If deaths by murder and by discriminatory negligence are so high that they’re the #1 topic for the transgender community to raise awareness about every year, then something is WRONG with average non-transgendered Americans’ treatment of transgendered people and of those who hurt them.

For that reason, I vowed to write about Transgender Day of Remembrance this year.

People are dying, and most of those deaths could be prevented with more allies among non-transgendered people. Will you be an ally?



Common Contexts of Death

A lot of the time, murders of transgendered people remind me of acquaintance rapes, domestic violence, and murders of prostitutes. They remind me of acquaintance rapes when I read that the killer had been consensually intimate with the victim in the past, and that the attack took place in the victim’s home. They remind me of domestic violence when I read that authorities don’t see the obvious (murder) as "obvious" and believe a bunch of poppycock to be the cause of death. They remind me of murders of prostitutes when I read that the killer was cruising for someone easy to commit violence against and searched places where social outcasts go to earn money or to socialize--or when I read that the eventual killer had harmed the victim before, but that the victim (correctly) presumed his/her legal system would more likely put her/him into confinement than the assailant if they approached its representatives.

There is, however, something rather unique to murders of transgendered people. Too often, I’ve read about murders where the killer didn’t want a reputation (or didn’t want someone he knows to have a reputation) as someone who willingly had sexual contact with a transgendered person. It isn’t a common motive in charges pressed. But it’s the motive I believe is truly behind most claims of, "I had no idea while we were intimate that she/he was transgendered, and when I found out, I feared her/his muscle power and thought she/he might assault me!"



How You Can Help

The good news is, there are strategies that can reduce this violence if enough allies participate.

Here are a few things that you can do:

• Congratulations--you’ve just helped! Empathy is step 1, and you’ve read this far. Thank you.
  
  
• Keep a good head on you. Don’t let mainstream reporting with its, "Heels!" "Operations!" "Dressed as!" language, push your mind’s language towards, "Freak!" Thoughts of "Freak!" can end a life. Set an empathetic example.
  
  
• Don’t spread the "I panicked that she’d/he’d hurt me!" baloney.
  Call it out as baloney when people say it was "the" motive behind a murder in the news. (Especially if they’re empathizing with it as a reason to harm transgendered people.)
  
  
• Reduce incentives for violent people to pick on a transgendered person.
  Fight to get killings and other violence against transgendered people punished at the rate they’re punished when committed against non-transgendered people.
  You don’t have to be a legal expert to help. Calls for action suggest authorities to contact and what power they have.
  You can help a lot just by adding your voice.
  Which leads to…
  
  
• Keep an eye on transgender-friendly media.
  It’s where you’ll hear about calls for action.
  Honestly, I don’t read any transgender-issues-focused blogs**. But I have added a blog or two to my bookmarks even when they weren’t my favorites in their genre, because I knew I could count on their authors to publish calls to action, and maybe even a little commentary, that THEY read about on blogs I like but don’t follow.
  Your source doesn’t have to be "blogs" or, I suppose, even written media. However you do it, you can help, as an ally, by finding a node of the "grapevine" that works for you.
  
  
• Respect transgendered people in all of your behavior in life.
  Remembering actions that mean little to non-transgendered people but show respect to transgendered people might make you feel like an old dog learning new tricks. But your example can inspire others.
  Your example can change America.

With hopes of better news next November,
Katie


**(such as the ones under the word "blogroll" at the far right of this page if you scroll down)
_________________
"So grab a newbie and enter a jam. Or challenge some other good dancer with a newbie. Or whatever. Share the joy." -Julius
"I think you're just a syncopation junkie, Katie." -Bilo

[Mel]

Thanks, Katie. I appreciate the detailed info. Ignorance is everywhere and we all need to do what we can to correct intolerance.
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It's all good

[warren2975]

Thanks for writing about such an important topic Katie.

[kitkat]

Thanks for your replies; it's great to see them.
_________________
"So grab a newbie and enter a jam. Or challenge some other good dancer with a newbie. Or whatever. Share the joy." -Julius
"I think you're just a syncopation junkie, Katie." -Bilo

[kitkat]

OpeningMinds on Yehoodi just reminded me that it's Transgender Day of Remembrance by bumping my thread from last year.

I don't have anything new on the subject, though OpeningMinds did--she(?) pointed out that:

[kitkat]

Actually, I guess there is one thing I found on the internet (at Questioning Transphobia) worth sharing.


That the kinds of opinions we share or hold back with city decision-makers about policing prostitution can lead to decisions that really swing the risk of death for prostitutes up/down.

And with 25-40% of homeless youth queer and approx. 60% of one city's transgendered population unemployed (via this), those're some pretty disproportionate odds for potentially ending up working a sex trade at some point.


What I'm trying to say is:
even your amount of empathy for other people more at risk of deadly violence than yourself--like prostitutes (of all social classes)--and your willingness to reconsider your stances on proposed regulations (for example, if you notice it puts their lives at risk more than it improves your life)--is a way of having empathy for and helping reduce violence against transgendered people.



Love and peace to all tonight,
Katie

[orange]

Hear, hear. Thanks for bumping this, Katie.
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- eryn

Once, I went into a knife shop and said, "Here's million dollars. I'd like to buy a knife." The guy said, "NO, money can't buy knives."